Oshun: How Not To Make The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life

Oshun: How Not To Make The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life: "The key to healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed...and half closed thereafter." They stood at the alter and promi...

How Not To Make The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life

"The key to healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed...and half closed thereafter."

They stood at the alter and promised to be faithful forever, never dreaming they were making the greatest mistake of their lives.

I was married for fourteen years before I decided to divorce my husband we had a wonderful son together, but he was just there, got up every morning went to work then came home, ate dinner, and went to bed or sometimes he would sit in the basement talking into his amateur radio talking with the world except his family.  I found myself alone most nights after dinner watching TV and having nobody to talk to.  I didn't think this was fair and getting tired of it, he didn't like going on vacation, he said going on vacation was like pissing your money away.  He never took our son to baseball, I did, he never went to school functions, I did, and so on...I wasn't happy anymore.  I came to the conclusion that separating myself from this man was the best thing I could do for me and my son.

It's not true that marriages can no longer be forged-that husbands and wives are destines to hurt and reject one another.  The family was GOD's idea and He does not make mistakes.  He observed the loneliness that plagued Adam in the garden of eve and said "It is not good." That's why he gave him a woman to share his thoughts and feel his touch.  Marriage is a marvelous concept when functioning  as intended, but therein lies the problem.. We have fallen into certain behavioral patterns that weaken the marital bond and interfere with long-term relationships.

Among these destructive customs is the tendency for young men and women to marry virtual strangers.  Oh, I know a typical couple talks for countless hours during the courtship period and they believe they know each other.  But a dating relationship is designed to conceal information, not reveal it.  Each partner puts his or her best foot forward, hiding embarrassing facts, habits, flaws, and temperaments.  Consequently, the bride and groom enter into a marriage with an array of private assumptions about how life will be lived after the wedding.  Major conflicts occur a few weeks later when they discover that they differ radically on what each partner considers to be nonnegotiable issues.  The stage is then set for arguments and hurt feelings that never occurred during the courtship experience.

"Merely looking for Mr. and Mrs. Marvelous is only half the assignment."